Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Humor is Also Stupid!
Yes, just as the mighty oak rules the forest with its giant...self... so stupidity rules the world of comedy. Think about it. Who's funnier, scientists or that stupid guy who falls down a lot? Astronomers or penguins?
To further stress my point, I've posted a picture of Buckwheat sitting in a box on top of a shelf in my room. I'm not really sure how this is supposed to support my argument; I just thought it was pretty funny. I rest my stupid case.
For some reason, the last few posts of mine have talked about falling down. I suppose it's probably one of those things that I imagine in my head and gets funnier the more I think about it. I picture a dumb guy (of course!) wearing baggy pants and a blue T-shirt with a cartoon character on it. He's got dark brown hair and brown eyes. He sports a goatee. The story begins with our hero standing at a bus stop...
"Um. So. The bus is gonna come today, right? I mean, like, before it gets dark?" he asks the man standing next to him. The man is wearing a knee-length overcoat and a sombrero and steps away cautiously, keeping his eyes on his copy of Popular Mechanics. Our Hero silently regards the sombrero with dull curiousity for a few seconds. He does a quick 180 and breathes directly into the ear of a young woman standing on his right. "I like cake," he mutters.
"That's wonderful. I'm going to ask you to stop doing that, if you think you can manage," she says, bending sideways at the waist to take her head out of breath range.
"Oh, I can!" our hero yips. He is intelligent, and capable of rather a lot. "I'm waiting for the bus! I plan on riding it to my destination, you know. I'm gonna, like, BE there when I GET there. It'll be awesome. Really."
"Would you stop rummaging in my purse?"
The young woman, who is surprisingly patient, swats Our Hero's hand away and moves her purse to her other shoulder. She stares at him for a moment. "Nice shirt," she says with an amused smirk.
"Thanks! Look, I found some mints in your purse. Can I have them? I'll probably eat them on the bus, if it ever comes!" Our Hero says in an attempt to be amusing. He tucks the half a roll of Cementos mints into the breast pocket of his T-shirt. The mints hit the pavement a split second later.
"You don't have a pocket there," says the young woman helpfully. Our Hero looks up at her from where he has bent to retrieve the Cementos.
"You're shrewd, and you have nice elbows. I think I'm going to share these mints with you."
The young woman rolls her eyes and checks her watch.
"Hey! Ants!" Our Hero says happily, and falls over. The man on his left and the young woman on his right both snort laughter.
See? It's funny when people fall down. Stupid people. I hope you've enjoyed this little object lesson, time-wasters. Professor FooDaddy will be back tomorrow with another enlightening bit of insightfulness. Right now, however, he has some nice mints that need his attention.
Posted by Paul FooDaddy Brand at 2:45 AM