Wednesday, April 12, 2006

The Blog of Stupid

The Blog of Stupid

The problem of stupidity

I am pretty sure that I am neither stupid enough nor disturbed enough to be a contributor to this blog. The stupid founders of the Blog were disturbed (or stupid) enough to allow me in. I have been laughing hysterically at all of their drivel but haven't been able to summon up the waters of stupidity from my idiot well.

This is probably the last post that the founders, Craig Hart and Foo Daddy (Foo Daddy???), will allow me. I put the founders' names in that order so that they will be jealous of one another and forget about the stupid new member they have allowed on.

Actually, I knew Craig before he was stupid. He used to be a very sensible young man. Always disturbed, and probably a frequent self-abuser, but still sensible. That admirable trait has apparently left him (hopefully not the useful trait of self abuse--I refer to sensibility).

Generally, a brilliant boy will become quite stupid when he launches into marriage. At least, that is his new forced impression of himself as seen through the eyes of his wife. He will then coast along on a sort of tide of cretindom until he acquires children. Only then will his true idiocy shine forth and warm all of those around him.

I have both a wife and three children, and, as you can see, I am quite stupid.

Goodnight! (and good luck)


Paul "FooDaddy" Brand said...

Welcome to the Blog, Jacob! I read your first post here, and I was impressed by your humility, despite your obvious mastery of doltry. I hope you'll feel at home here, and that none of your latent intelligence comes far enough forward to discourage you. So decrees the FooDaddy.

The Stupid Blogger said...

Well, I have not yet acquired any children (through any method) and so am pleased to hear that my true accomplishments in the realm of stupidom are still ahead of me. I was beginning to think, "Is this it? Ah, what a load off my mind. Now if you will excuse me, I need to go abuse myself.

Jacob "Pickle Weasel" Nordby said...

do you think there's a better name for me...I really haven't ever had an alias before (that I know of--I'm sure some folks have names for me that they've been kind enough to keep private!)

Anyway, it's hard to think of something as cool (Kool?) as FooDaddy or even Stupid Blogger. Maybe you can help me figure this out.

The Stupid Blogger said...

How about Jacob "The Weasel" Nordby? "Weasel" is always funny.

The Stupid Blogger said...

Oh, and what do you mean "even Stupid Blogger"?

Paul "FooDaddy" Brand said...

Jacob "The Weasel" Nordby is an awesome mobster name. Or the good name for a band. It also makes a good blogger name as well. Go 'head and change it if you want, Weasel.

Jacob "Pickle Weasel" Nordby said...

you know what's even awesomer? Pickle Weasel! But, I can't picture myself with that name.

Well, maybe that would be cool (kool).

Ok, I am now Pickle Weasel.

I have also considered Mountain Ninja or Poisonous Northern Tree Wolf...

Pickle Weasel is alot awesomer and stupider!