Back by popular demand, is venerable ol' Mr. Wheats. He's looking at me like I personally stole his left ear. His left. Your right.
"Look, I don't know what you did with it, but I'd really like it back. I mean, it's not like you can sell that kinda thing on eBuy, can you? You jerk. Give me cheese. Cats love cheese."
I like taking pictures of my cats. They usually hold still just long enough for me to say "aww! That's adorable!" and then rush off to get my camera. That plan usually backfires, because they follow me back to my room just in case I might be fetching them some cheese.
"No! Go back to the chair! You were all curly-uppy there! It was friggin' adorable! No! No cheese!"
And then they stare at me.
Now I want to go give them cheese because I feel guilty for slandering them on a public forum. Read me later, time-wasters!