Friday, May 05, 2006

The Man by the Sea

I come before you, dear readers, with my head hung low. You may recall in a previous post where I mentioned my ongoing conflict with the “Little Things.” Well, they’ve been at it again. I have, actually, been quite busy, what with work, the NBA playoffs, and my secret life with the Israeli Mossad, but I realize that is no excuse for my laxity in keeping up my regular posts on this Blog. I beg your forgiveness and offer my sincerest thanks for your patience. (Oh, and Wilbur, thanks for that neat little box you sent me. When the YPS man made the delivery, I shook it and it started ticking. I assumed it must be broken, so I sent it back to you.)

The Man by the Sea

There was once a man named Manfred,
Who lived in a cave by the sea.
Whenever he heard waves crash on the rocks,
He badly needed to pee.

This was a natural instinct
And he wasn’t ashamed for a minute,
But it did get rather annoying
When he did and his dinner guests didn’t.

“Excuse me,” he’d say in a fluster,
Rising and running away.
“I must be about my business.
“Continue your eating, I pray!”

At first it caused not a stir,
The guests were understanding and kind.
But soon they began to worry,
When Manfred made trip number nine.

“I say,” said old Mr. Flaptrap,
Wiping his chin with a fork.
“That chap should lay off the liquids!”
And he scarfed another helping of pork.

The evening wore on with leisure,
As they waited for Manfred to improve.
But at last he shrugged and exclaimed,
“I guess I’ll just have to move!”


Paul FooDaddy Brand said...

That's probably the best poem in the world. Or at least on this Blog! Now what we need to do is find someone who can play the guitar, and we'll make a folk song out of it.

Anonymous said...

Yeah and since I am from West Virginia, I could sing it for you.

Paul FooDaddy Brand said...

I completely forgot about this poem when I wrote mine years later. Guess I wasn't the first!