Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Beeny Babies

Before you even think about wandering down to the "indulge in stupidity" link, I know I spelled "beeny" funny. That was intentional. I don't want to get sued by legume-filled corporate execs who may be very sensitive about their product.

Just felt I should clear that up, coming as this post does on the tail of one about proper grammar and spelling.

I'm sure most of you over the age of 10 remember the Beeny Baby craze that oozed through the nation awhile back. There are probably thousands of die-hard collectors still out there trying to get ahold of the rarer ones, but at least the little sacks of grit aren't on network news anymore.

Unfortunately for those of us sensitive to insideously cute collector's items (Precocious Monuments?) the Beeny Babies all had really horrible names. Just, hack cough barf names that were printed with a little lameoid story on a heart shaped tag.

As a Professional Sarcasm Distributor (PSD), I'm gonna make another List. This time of names that those Beeny Babies should have had.

  • Crispy the Tiger
  • Snotty the Wombat
  • Crafty the Cow
  • Cheesy the Whale
  • Dippy the Dinosaur
  • Floaty the Salmon
  • Wimpy the Penguin
  • Grabby the Snake
  • Sneaky the Camel
  • Dirty the Hamster
If you time-wasters come up with any other good names, post 'em! I have a lot of places to Distribute my Sarcasm, and a few fires to set. IBYALTW!*

*I'll Bother You All Later, Time-Wasters


Anonymous said...

What happened to Smiley the Crab??

Paul FooDaddy Brand said...

Smiley the Crab wasn't one of mine. Tim came up with that one. So I didn't include it.

Jack W. Regan said...

Whiney the Weasel?

Anonymous said...

Hey, Foo-D, howcome you aint at woik?

And if you quote one of Tim's, you simply footnote da sucka. That's what yo fonts an' diacritical henscratchins is fo.

Anna said...

Yummy The Lobster
Herpies the Crab
Fatty the Elephant
Rabies the Racoon
Welldun the cow...(get it,haha)

Anonymous said...

Hairy the Hyena

Anonymous said...

fluffy the snake. mmmm chicken soup...dude im sick lol
xoxo, 'ren

ps. (had to, the soup made me do it)
heres a pick-up line for ya, "your name must be campbells cuz you are mmm! mmm! good!"

Anonymous said...

En garde, PSD Home Representative! You and your pygmy marmoset will soon be sorely tested! Behold your nemesis-- Pilky's the name, Pilky Rue! Prepare for a sound rumpthumping at a time and place of my choosing, ha ha! I like that word rumpthumping! Questions? Contact me at my place of business, in the old abandoned string, spring & fingerprint factory building! If you dare!

Ha ha-- again!

Jack W. Regan said...

"legume-filled corporate execs"... I like that.

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