As resident FooDaddy on this here Blog, I'd like to take a moment to thank all you faithful time-wasters for your dedicated reading of our nonsense. As soon as I get the time, money, and spy satellite, I will visit and hug each and every one of you in person.
I played board games. I spilled cider on my lap. I smell like fireworks. It was a good Foo Year's Eve, time-wasters. And you know what the best part is? The header. It will now make a little more sense. There's history there now, and the link to the past it so boldly bears is truly in the past.
So to all of you who told me that it already was 2006, I say this: *cough* Um. No it's not. Haw.
To those who regularly Indulge in Stupidity by leaving us Comments, thank you for making yourselves known. Anonymous? I'd like to give you a shout-out in particular for making sure that all of us know just how evil we've been over the last few months of 2006. To honor you, I will now point out all the evils in this post, because I value you and your time, and would like to help you save some of it.
- The graphic of a party hat is inappropriate because it suggests partying and all the drinking and swearing and toilet-papering and hip-movement that goes with it. It should be deleted immediately.
- Hugging is the Devil's way of spreading germs. People, especially men and women, should remain at least three feet apart at all times, unless they're married, in which case they may decrease the distance to one and a half feet, but only if they're planning on having children.
- Spilling anything on your lap, even if it's accidental, is lewd and should be punished by bullwhip. Your lap contains your reproductive organs, and they should never have attention called to them. Nor should they be talked to.
- "Bugging" the "web" is a worldly and nasty thing to do. It should be avoided. Also, the word "bugging" is eerily similar to the word "buggery," which is slang for sodomy. This indicates horrible things, and should be changed to "Giving delightful sugared candies to" in the header.
- Mocking people is bad.