Saturday, October 28, 2006

All The Things I've Always Wanted To Say

In response to FooDaddy’s FooDaddy’s (huh?) request, I have compiled a list of things I’ve always wanted to say, but didn’t for various reasons, either because I never found the right opportunity or because I was too sensitive to the feelings of others. Mainly, I’m a coward.

1. “Plastic surgery might be able to fix that.”
2. “Excuse me, sir, but is this your Giant Rat of Versailles?”
3. “Watch out, she’s backin’ up!”
4. “Take me to see your leader.”
5. “It’s okay, I have a spare clavicle in my car.”
6. “I hate you.” (And mean it.)
7. “Mind if I take your picture? I need an excuse to buy a new camera.”
8. “Oooooh! My very own catamaran!”
9. “Gimme the money and no one gets hurt. Yeah, I take Visa.”
10. “I want a large medium pizza with water buffalo droppings. Hold the crust.”
11. “O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”
12. “Yeah, and on the rocks. Hey, there’s ice in here!”
13. “Go on, try to flee. I dare ya’”
14. “Come on, you wanna a piece o’ me? No? Good.”
15. “That’s not a zit, there’s a blood clot in your eye. Better see a doctor.”

Anyway, this was fun! You all should try it. Vote Craig Hart on Nov. 6. Or is it 7? Aw, what difference does it make? Voting twice never hurt anyone.


Anonymous said...

There's got to be more. I'm waiting for The Complete and Final List Of All The Things I've Ever Wanted To Say, Totally Ever, Part Deux.

Dan said...

You wussie! I've said all of these things at one time or another to my mother-in-law, my priest, my car mechanic, my local town's ventriloquist.

OK, correction, I never said #10 to the ventriloquist because it wouldn't have made any sense. He's a full-time ventriloquist after all. He doesn't work in a pizzeria.

Jack W. Regan said...

Oh, so I'm a wussie, eh? Well, YOU are a...a...sillyhead! (No offense.)