I've been ignored by the pollsters and mocked by the electorate. I was not invited to participate in the debates. I've been trodden underfoot as the so-called miracle of democracy has marched to the drum of deception and greed. And yet, this has not undermined my firm belief that I will prevail when the polls are finally closed. I am smelling in the air the scent of victory. Either that, or the sauerkraut I forgot to toss out last week has gone bad.I am counting on a late-night comeback to carry me on to victory so I can live like a sloth, draped in the arms of affluence and comfort. Oh, yeah, and help the people of Michigan, too. The polls close in just over an hour. Go to the polls and vote. Now! DO IT!
*ahem*
To read my plan for change in Michigan, click here. And if you voters in Detroit feel offended by my fourth point...I was kidding.
4 comments:
I may be imagining this but I believe that Fox news just declared you the winner. I think. I'm not sure, though.
Were you running for something in Alaska? Or maybe you were running from something in Alaska?
I didn't think sauerkraut ever went bad. We've had some in the fridge for months. And point 4 was the best one. I'm bummed you were kidding. "Sorry" you lost last night. Maybe you'll have a chance in the presidential race in a couple years.
I like that. "Mocked by the electorate". That's funny. It'd be a good name for a drama television show. Or a reality show! Not that I watch either. That could change, though, if Mocked by the Electorate takes off!
My watch says half-past nigh. Must need a new battery.
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