Monday, September 04, 2006

The Old Man needs a wife


you probably thought that this was another of those quickly-becoming-cult-classics about The Old Man. Sorry to disappoint. Firstly, I am not the creative genius (or was is genii?) behind the,, birth (?), of this old dude. I wish I were. I laugh at his antics--but even more at his syntax and vernacular.

Secondly, I think it's a mistake to jump in and try to keep writing along just as if one IS capable of adding more to the already quality body of work. Kind of like the poor wretch who tried to write some more Nero Wolfe novels after Rex Stout had gone on to his Platinum Typewriter in the sky. Let's just say it didn't work.

Thirdly, ... there probably should be a thirdly for some good grammatical or structural reason, but I'm done with this particular chain of irrefutable logic.

OK, so, I was watching Jay Leno the other night and he played an episode of Ask The Fruitcake Lady. Maybe you've seen her. She's old. She's proper (well, some of the time). She vocalizes her opinions trenchantly. And, she's completely, brilliantly insane.

I thought that she and Old Man ought to get acquainted. Because of their individual irascibility, it's not a lock that they'd get hitched, but I'll bet their first and second dates might make for some interesting reading.

Check out this link and tell me I'm a blazin' idiot!

Oh, also, guys...I checked out Capitalistic Swinery and I love it. I am quite unabashedly of the rich oinker mindset, so I think it's great that you are trying to make a profit. People have gotten rich (with all of the delicious, sinful kinds of stuff that goes along) in much stupider kinds of ways, ...I think.


Jack W. Regan said...

Sadly, I was unable to make the clips play on my computer, but from reading the text, I can say that, if the Old Man did marry this woman, that would be one heck of a family reunion.

Paul FooDaddy Brand said...

Wow. A whole family of crotchty old folks. I bet they'd even have crotchety babies.

Oh, and Crotchety Babies would be a good name for a set of collectible porcelain figurines. Think Precious Moments, but...Not.