Once upon a time, in a land not so far away, but impossible to get to, there was a snail who learned the meaning of life.
"Yay," said the snail, anxious to show his appreciation to the Elements for entrusting him with this bit of jealously sought wisdom. "Now I can sell this information to the highest bidder, become fabulously wealthy, and live as a snail should!"
Just then a hungry Frenchman noticed the lone snail inching its way toward bliss and promptly ate mankind's only hope for true enlightenment. The moral of this story is this: never try to sell someone happiness, because they will end up eating you for lunch.