Saturday, March 03, 2007

Pickle Weasel Goes to Mexico and Discovers Raicilla

Handsome? Yes, of course...but is he good?

For the first time in our married lives (13 yrs), my wife and I left the country together.
As you can see from the reddish hue of my forehead, we went somewhere tropical. It was heaven, it was paradise, it was the small third-world village of
Yelapa.
"So, why," you ask, "does this qualify for remark on the Blog of Stupid?"
Well, my stupid friend, I was just getting ready to tell you and then you rudely interrupted.
Have you ever heard of Raicilla? No? Well, permit a small copy/paste to enlighten you and then we'll proceed...

Raicilla, pronounced "rye-see-ya", is the local moon shine. It is distilled in crude, primitive stills from a fermented mash made from the roots ( raicilla means "little root" ) of the maguey plant. It is a strong violent liquor of greatly varying quality, and usually more than 100 proof. Since it is produced without government license, and sold without government tax, it is illegal in the same sense that moonshine is illegal in the United States. Its production is one of the traditional local arts, and it is found only in this area.

Since it is higher in alcoholic content than most commercially available liquors even a small amount can produce a sudden, strong, and unpredictable drunkeness. There are many reports of violent gastric reactions, and temporary motor paralysis. It has a strong, and persistent reputation for producing an aphrodisiac effect in women, but causing temporary impotency in men. This can lead to a social situation of confused, and conflicting desires. It gives a rough hangover.

Since raicilla is cheap, strong, and readily available, it is most widely and frequently used drinks among the local borrachos (drunks). The raicilla-borracho can still sit and talk ( lucidly, he thinks ) long after he has lost the ability to walk. He does not know this until after he stands up.

For those who drink alcohol at all, a taste of raicilla is an almost essential part of the full local experience. When you drink it for the first time, you should be in secure surroundings among people you know and trust and use cautious moderation.

So, I ask you, my friend, what sort of venturing man would I be to refuse a sample of local culture? And I answer, "Not a man at all, but perhaps a mouse."
I am a man and I did sample the local stuff. I believe Raicilla should be translated "stupid juice". Verily it will make a man believe that he is a god. It will make him believe that he SHOULD maim the local priest and make vigorous love to an iguana. I share this with you in hopes that you will take heed. Mexican jails are less fun than you would imagine.
Respectfully,

Jacob "Pickle Weasel" Nordby

16 comments:

foodaddy's foodaddy said...

Hey! Paschal Wurzel! How come everything on this page after your first paggaraph is in eye talix?

Gotta admit, you da In-Tents Raicilla Man now.

Anonymous said...

Isn't he cute!!!!! You in the closet gay guys keep away!!! All mine.


love,Pickle Weasel's wife

jenn said...

whoops, guess I'm not anon.

Jacob "Pickle Weasel" Nordby said...

Hey, Weasel-Wife...

that was sweet and I appreciate you warning off Foo and Stupid. They was starting to creep me out.

Foo...

Them italianics was only on the stuff what I didn't make up myself. I didn't want to appear to be plagiarizing.

Jacob "Pickle Weasel" Nordby said...

oh, wait!

I shouldn't have replied to FOO...it was HIS pappy.

Nice of you to respond, Rev. Brand!

The Stupid Blogger said...

Good thing you didn't plagiarize, Senõr Peekee Weesahl. Foodaddy's Foodaddy is our resident Guardian of Data (Norlight Telecommunications, be hanged). When we all get rich and famous, I think we should pay him a salary. In cashews, of course.

Oh, and cute wasn't the word I associated with the picture. What actually came to mind was, "I farted, it stinks, and I don't care."

No, actually, congrats on your trip. I hope everything went well. Perhaps you could regale us with further episodes?

The Stupid Blogger said...

Oh, and I like the name Weasel-Wife. Oddly appropriate, I say.

The Stupid Blogger said...

Oh, I just realized what FD's FD was talking about. Your entire post, save for the first paragraph, is italics in Firefox, while on IE, only the middle portion is, leaving your final paragraph "reg'lar." This may be because Firefox is of the devil. WAAAAAAAAAAIIT a minute! I just noticed that Firefox has italicized almost everything on the Blog! Even the links on the side. Stupid Firefox. I'll have to look into this. Must be something in the template. Hopefully. Stupid Firefox.

The Stupid Blogger said...

Aaaaaaah...there. Much better. 'Tis fixed. Stupid HTML.

Paul "FooDaddy" Brand said...

Yeah. That-all was weird. Italix everywhere. As soon as you navigated away from the first page, everything went back to "normal".

So! PeanutWeasel! You took y'self a trip to the Suthurn Latitudes, didja? Bet that was fun, priest-maiming aside. Strong stuff, that Raicilla? Brake cleaner. That's what it is. Brake cleaner without the spray can.

You've got to be the first person to use the word "verily" in the same paragraph as a mention of iguana lovin'. That takes guts, m'boy. You've made The FooDaddy proud.

Jacob "Pickle Weasel" Nordby said...

Foo

I am known for boldness but not for intelligence. Now THERE'S a deadly cocktail.

Sincerely,
"The Pick"
or
"The Weas"
depending upon the day.

foodaddy's foodaddy said...

Gimme those cashews! And that venturesome cocktail fatale.

What? You're out of cashews? Just write me a chequew. Make it out to "cashew". Now-- where's those data?

Anonymous said...

My wife and I are heading to Yelapa in two weeks.
Any tips? We also are staying at Lagunita.

gggreg99@yahoo.com

Paul "FooDaddy" Brand said...

And what's with all this "Respectfully," stuff?

Ain't no place 'round here for that kinda sparrowfart.

The Stupid Blogger said...

Oops, I just realized I put the squiggly in "Senor" over the wrong letter. In the interest of accuracy, I shall correct it now. Señor.

foofan said...

Ah, squigglies. Gotta love 'em.