Reform Story Quickie

Once upon a time, there was this bastard who liked to swear at the elderly. Man, he was a putz. Everybody hated him, the elderly in particular.

So one day they banded together and sold him to the gypsies. He vowed revenge.

“I vow revenge!” he hollered at the crowd.

“Go boil your knuckles!” the elderly hollered back as the gypsies carried the bastard away.

Months went by, and the bastard never returned to the town of the elderly, and they were happy. There were parties and parades and dances with a lot of yelling. The elderly celebrated by eating many beans and drinking many ounces of decaf.

One day, however, the bastard returned. He was dressed in corduroy slacks and was wearing an ascot.

“Hey! What're you doing back here?” pooted an old man.

“Explain yourself, young man!” seconded an old lady.

“I'm reformed,” the bastard explained. “Can I have some beans?”

So the elderly gave him some beans and he danced with them, and everybody lived gassily ever after.