Friday, August 04, 2006

Hatred Makes the World Go 'Round

I don’t consider myself a particularly hateful person, perhaps others disagree. Regardless, there are things I hate and I have decided to use this Blog for the rather selfish purpose of airing these grievances. I hate…

1. Computer tech support. Not long ago, I was having major computer difficulties, the worst ever. You can imagine how bad they were by the mere fact that I actually called tech support. I am one of those people who, if possible, go out of their way to avoid reading instructions. I would much prefer to use the old trial-and-error method, referring to the manual only after I have rendered the item entirely useless. The actual experience of talking to support wasn’t too bad, but finding the number was. My computer was apparently undergoing an identity crisis and had assumed many of the characteristics exhibited by the average boat anchor. Not only wouldn’t it operate properly, it wouldn’t even turn on. So, you can imagine my irritation when I read the literature supplied with the machine, in search of a valid telephone number, and found the following:

“In the unlikely event that you experience a software malfunction, please visit our online help service at”

I can’t access my own computer, much less the internet, you ninnies!

2. People who pull out in front of me, causing me to slam on the brakes. This is especially annoying when I look in my rearview mirror and see that there isn’t another car in sight. Why couldn’t this person have waited one more second until I had passed? Then they could have pulled onto the road in complete safety!

3. People who, when they find out I pretend to be a writer, say, “Oh, I’ve often thought about writing a book. I would, too, if only I had the time.” First of all, there is no such thing as “having the time.” Secondly, I resent the implication that it’s easy. I’ve spent years working on my craft and am still working on it. The idea that someone, whose main writing experience consists of a journal entry every few weeks, is going to sit down one weekend and rip out a bestseller is ludicrous.

4. People who tell me that a certain movie is the funniest/scariest/saddest they’ve ever seen and that I would absolutely looooooooooove it! Then they proceed to tell me the entire plot. By the time they’re done, there is no need to see the movie, because I already know the characters personally.

5. DVDs that play until the last five minutes and then skip and freeze.

Well, there you go, readers. This is by no means an exhaustive list, since the internet is not yet large enough to contain all the things that annoy me, but perhaps you all have complaints to add.


Lisa said...

I agree with each and every one of your 'hated' points but number 2 gets me the most. My sons think I have road rage because I tend to swear and complain quietly when it happens. I don't believe they have any idea what road rage actually is lol

Even so...I really hate number 2 happening to me!

Raymond Betancourt said...

Actors who sing, singers who act and television chefs who act as though every trifling dish they prepare is food for the gods.

Paul FooDaddy Brand said...

I hate having #2 happen to me too. It's so inconvenient, and if the joke's not obvious yet, it's smelly.


Okay, I'm done.

"Pretend to be a writer..." That bit gave me the hiccups. Can't adequately explain why. Funny stuff.

Muppers said...

In addition to #2, I gotta add deer who jump out in front of you when there IS a string of cars, or large trucks, behind you.

Anonymous said...

People who ask me for my opinion and I give it then they proceed to ignore what I just said and do what ever they were thinking in the first place. Don't ask me for help and then completely ignore me.