Friday, March 28, 2008
Life Goals Quickie
Once upon a time, there was a little purple squirrel who lived in your ear.
“I want to grow up to be a spaceman!” the little squirrel said one day and set out on a journey. After a few miles, he came upon a magic sparrow.
“I can give you the power of flight if you eat this little pile of twigs and wash my car,” the sparrow promised.
“That's a bunch of duck hockey,” said the squirrel. “Why must you patronize me?”
“Because I'm a hateful, disease-riddled sky pest. So do we have a deal?”
“We sure do!” the squirrel said, stuffing his mouth with twigs and reaching for a bucket of soapy water. After he had completed his tasks, he approached the sparrow and asked for his flight. The sparrow handed him a cheese doodle he'd been chewing on and flew away.
“Yay!” said the squirrel, putting the doodle in his backpack. “Now all I have to do is find NASA headquarters!” He set his tail on fire, and learned an important lesson about trusting sparrows. His parents were very proud.
When he got to NASA headquarters, he went to the front desk and asked for an application. Under the Previous Experience section, he wrote that he had once flown to Saturn and buried some acorns in the rings. The NASA people were very impressed. They had been trying to do that for decades.
"You're hired!" said a chunky man in a space suit. He gave the little squirrel a badge and told him where the bathrooms were. The squirrel went to bed that night in your ear a very happy squirrel indeed.
Posted by Paul FooDaddy Brand at 3:56 AM