Monday, September 24, 2007

I'm Mad, Too!

In the previous post, Pickle Weasel shared a few things that really tick him off. Although I know there are many more he could (and should) share, I was happy to see the list, because it gave me an excuse to list a few of the things that make me angry. I don't usually get a chance to do this and it makes me mad. Anyway, I am becoming more and more irritable with every passing year. I’ve always had a difficult time suffering fools gladly, but I find the chore increasingly taxing. To show you exactly what I mean, here’s a sample of things that annoy me:

Whining children, slow people in check-out lanes, people who stop at green turn arrows (green means go, you friggin’ idiot), people who are loud for no apparent reason, stubborn toilet paper, fumbling with my keys, nuclear explosions, itchy deodorant, crickets with insomnia, people who think they’re smarter than I am and aren’t, condescension, Kool-Aid, fanatics, shaving, dry skin, and the day after holidays...(deep breath)

Telemarketers who can’t take no for an answer, repeat stories, grocery shopping, know-it-alls, people who feel a need to top everyone else’s story, car alarms, most of the rest of my generation, car bigots (is that a useless bias or what?), Boyd Bears, being blamed for global warming, people who put clanky things in the dryer, Jane Austen, people who like Jane Austen, the children and ancestors of people who like Jane Austen, poorly-tuned instruments, people all too willing to correct others and yet blind to their own errors, and exotic ring tones…(gasp)

Nit-picking, sweltering car interiors, the mispronunciation of “concerto” and “Mozart,” people who think I’m an arrogant bastard (the truth hurts), well-meaning people, ill-meaning people, people, those who complain and yet will not accept any solution, people in authority who have the intelligence of floor lamps, chess haters, empty zoo cages, static, wobbly chairs, unwarranted enthusiasm, crappy melodies, Burl Ives, burling ivy, shirts that feel crooked when I put them on, muscle twitches, tiny dogs that bark incessantly, the majority of poodles…

Okay, I guess that’s enough for now, although I’ve barely scratched the surface. As you can probably tell, I spend a good deal of my time being annoyed and feel I am well on my way to becoming an old curmudgeon. Hey, Foo…race ya!

8 comments:

foodaddy's foodaddy said...

Spreching of Mozart concertos, how 'bout those zarkers on classical music stations who insist that the word "pianist" be pronounced in a way that hints that the musician in question is incontinent?

I'm just asking.

Excuse me, gotta go see a mudge about a cur...

LJP said...

Chess haters! LOL!!

Jacob "Pickle Weasel" Nordby said...

You is one pissed off dude.

I'm impressed. I, after all, was only upset by about 4 things--not counting the uninspired potatoes.

Pick Almighty

Paul "FooDaddy" Brand said...

Shirts that feel crooked when I put them on...

Brilliant, and so so true!

This post created within my chestal cavity an apocalyptic giggle. I shall respond in time with my own list of annoyances.

Well, a second one, I mean. I wrote (recycled) one a long time ago on here, but you guys outdid me so well here, I have to try again.

melodyann said...

I hate everybody...

most of them hate me right back.

foodaddy's foodaddy said...

And stop scratching that surface with that barley, TSB-- oatmeal makes a better exfoliant anyway, and with a mild abrasive you can buff to a nice shine.

Jennifer said...

things I hate are brothers who forget their favorite sister's birthday!!!!!!

The Stupid Blogger said...

Well, that was random. Oh, wait...are you talking about me? Oops...sorry about that. Uh...ahem...happy birthday?