The two do seem to go together a lot, don't they?
My wife, Beth, and I have been hounded the last few days by some arrogant jerk, who has been inexplicably allowed by his keepers to have access to a phone. He has used this privilege freely, calling us regularly and asking for a person who does not even live here. But will he listen? No! Instead, he insists that we have this person call him immediately, because “she is in trouble!” Well, fine, then. Call her up yourself and tell her that, but stop calling here, because we can’t and won’t help you. I swear the guy’s an idiot.
He called again yesterday and, having had enough of his condescension, I said, “If you call here one more time, I will sue the pants off you.”
“I don’t understand these threats!” he whined.
I then asked him the amount in his bank account and, when he told me, informed him that the figure would be sufficient.
“You’ll never be able to touch it,” he said.
Of course, the chances of my suing him are nil, so I have been cooking up schemes to make his life miserable every time he bothers us. Next time he calls and asks to speak with this person, I plan on saying, “Sure! One moment, please,” then setting the phone on the shelf and walking away. Heh. This and other, more elaborate, plots have been keeping my spirits high and I can’t wait to implement them. If you have any ideas about how to foil this imbecile, why not write them in the comments?
Now, folks, I really must go. I may not be able to post anything for the next day or two, since I am supposed to play for a friend’s wedding. Tonight is the rehearsal and the wedding is on Friday. I don’t know what time I’ll get back or if I’ll have an opportunity to post. I’ll try and post something really stupid this weekend to make up for it.