Saturday, April 07, 2007

Space Loaf Quickie

So, faithful time-wasters, I've kept you waiting long enough. You've been wondering for a week now what I meant by "space loaf" and now I'm jolly well going to tell you.

It's actually a shortcut, that phrase. It contains two ideas, or concepts if you will. The first is that if you put the word "space" in front of pretty much anything, it makes it funnier. Hold in your mind an image of a sci-fi movie from the early 50s, where the characters could sound extremely futuristic by saying words like "electromagnetism" or "atomic," thus rendering them Power Rangers cool.

Space kittens
Space rot
Space toast
Space nuggets

You get the idea. What's up to you is how you play the idea in your conversation.

"Holy space kittens, Roger! It's been a long time since I've seen you!"
"Um, not really. Weren't you over just last night?"
"That's a bunch of space rot and you know it."
"Why don't you go home?"

Write that down. Add "space" and it's cooler and funnier. Makes you sound like a genius.

"Loaf," on the other hand, when appended to a word, always makes it less desirable. Mostly when referring to foodstuffs.

Potato loaf
Cake loaf
Kitten loaf
Bum loaf
Nuclear loaf

Again, it's up to you how you apply this knowledge, time-wasters.

"Eeew! What is this stuff? Bat loaf?"
"It's Hamburger Helper. You like it, remember?"
"Space rot! This stuff looks like bum loaf, and I'm not touching it."
"Why are you still here?"

I'm trying to start a trend, so I might validate my existence. Spread it around!

Off into the wild public frontiers I go now. Time to visit the real world for a bit. See how it's getting along. You know. Catch up.


Jacob Nordby said...

The real world seems to cripple along on its own. I don't think that those of us who frequent this Blog should go there any oftener than necessary.

Our world is more interesting.

Perhaps I should refer to us as a cirlce--which, as I pointed out earlier, is an arcane term for a very exalted type of society (so arcane, in fact, that if you were to look the word up in the Big, Old Book of Arcana, you wouldn't find it).

Anyway, on to your inquiry into the nature of the word "loaf"...

I tend to agree that the word has very few positive connotations. With the exception of "a warm loaf of freshly baked bread", most other uses of it are pretty off-putting.

For example:

"Pinch off a loaf"
"Loaf around"
(no, the action itself isn't repulsive, naturally, but the phrase is usually spoken by a highly caffeinated, type-A individual in a sneering sort of tone)
Meat loaf--whether we are speaking of the "food" or the "singer", we aren't speaking of good things.
Liver loaf--see comments above.

There are many more examples, of course.

These serve to illustrate that I agree with you, Foo.

And, I think you are a weird, funny guy.


Paul FooDaddy Brand said...

Pickle Weasel! I forgot to mention Pickle Loaf! Seriously. I almost wish I was making that up, but if you suppress your gag reflex and search amongst the bologna, you'll find it in there.

Horrid, slimy stuff.

Anonymous said...

"Weasel Loaf", something that should never be allowed, was similarly neglected. It is in the Big Golden Book Of Loafs, so apologies all 'round.

[thinks] Why am I still here? Hm..