Okay, that’s enough. Blimey, I’m exhausted! Back in my youth, I could party for hours or at least hold out for a couple more “wheees,” but these days it’s all I can do to tighten the strap on my party hat.
So, FooDaddy has mentioned his purchase of an Xbox 360. I’m ashamed to say I have fallen prey to this beast and played a few rounds of mindless violence, using a very nifty wireless controller. A couple weeks ago, I found myself at Foo’s apartment, playing a game called “Gears of War.” You can play cooperatively against the aliens or you can choose to kill one another. We chose the latter. Soon, I was controlling a large, hulking Army…dude and skulking around a creepy landscape in search of an obviously asthmatic alien, who was being controlled by the Foo himself.
My character had a very large gun (firearm, Pickle Weasel), but I quickly discerned that the caliber of the weapon meant nothing if one is unable to actually aim it. Once, I entered a courtyard to find Foo’s odious alien standing there waiting for me. As I jiggled the controls in an attempt to draw a bead on him, he began running toward me. This, of course, caused me to panic. To make matters worse, the creature withdrew a noisy chainsaw from his back pocket and waved it at me meaningfully. Being the perceptive type, I understood there was a distinct possibility the alien meant to actually use the device on my limbs.
And so he did. I was unable to take aim in time and was soon distributed on the ground in a rather messy fashion.
Oh, the humanity! With all the shooting, stomping, and chainsawing, I’m surprised I didn’t stop on my way home and drop-kick an elderly homeless person. Picture this: you stalk the other player and shoot him until he’s crouched on the ground, bleeding and gasping for breath. Then you walk up to his inert form and:
- Shoot him in the head,
- Stomp him in two, or
- Whip out a chainsaw and finish him off in gory style.
Yes, it was fun.